Ben Wekselbaum
Coach Lumbly
Hal Hefner
Ginny Ryerson
Junior Philosopher
Doyle Hefner
Earl Hefner
Heston
Ram
Townsend Prep Debater
Juliet Hefner
English Teacher
Plainsboro Lunch Lady
Mr. Lewinsky
Honoria
Abraham Lincoln
Stephen Douglas
Flemming
Judge Pete
Gym Teacher
Lewis Garrles
Fern Garries
Lewis's Dad
connie Ryerson
Crystal Hamish-Steinberg
Philip
Frank Ryerson
Hazlet Timer
Hazlet Lunch Lady
Hazlet Coach
Townsend Prep Bad Girl
Luis
New Jersey Debate Official
Pizza Server
Narrator (voice)