Captain Hook: The Cursed Tides (2025)

**spoiler alert** If you're a Pirates of the Caribbean fan, this movie is not for you. If you're a Peter Pan fan, this movie is not for you. In fact, unless you're related to any of the actors, you can safely skip this movie. The movie starts off by James Hook and a bunch of other rowdy pirates entering a castle to free other pirates. Admiral Smee captures Hook and could end the movie right there. But nope, he merely cuts his hand off. Throughout the movie, Hooks arms are equal in length, and Smee even handcuffs him, but let's not get too much into special effect details. Hook manages to escape and a long and I boring game of hide and seek in the woods follows. Smee sends his red coats after Hook (you never see more than four in one shot so I assume they could only afford four costumes). Our captain however teamed up with a blacksmith who gave him a large hook where his "hand used to be" (sparing all costs on special effects again). The blacksmith also knew about some ancient myth about a curse which they plan to use on Smee. They go look for the creature and fair enough, an AliExpress monster is found which resembles Alien a bit. Nevertheless the monster doesn't kill Smee, a cannonball shot out of a conveniently placed canon in the middle of the forest ends the life of Smee. At this stage you're jealous of Smee and wish for sweet death yourself. Luckily the movie ends quickly after this. The movie is slow, the acting is dreadful at best. Fight scenes are unwatchable and the plot makes no sense whatsoever. Let's hope there will never be a sequel to this one...