Harry Bottoms / Guy Kirk / Narrator (voice)
General Washington / The President (voice)
Jean-Paul Bidet / B-M Man (voice)
V.D. Johnson / Astronomer (voice)
Sandy Mellons / Kid on Lava (voice)
Hanukah Jonze (voice)
Donkey Dixon (voice) (as Isaac Singleton Jr.)
Self [Mötley Crüe] (voice)
Self [Motley Crue] (voice)
Lumberjack (voice)