David Spencer
Leslie Handover
Shamus O'Reilly / Jerry
Olivia 'Satan Spawn' Sue
Donald Dirk
Melissa Dirk
Interviewer
Doug Spencer
Mr. Donovan
Chester the Chipmunk
Bartender
Stacy Smith
Reverend Handover
Young Shamus
Racoon Ray / Ramond Beddoes
Kelly Spencer
Blonde
SFH Director / Jane Johnson
Sebastian Mendez / Pinky Winky
Brandy
Brunette #1
Tony the Tank Beroni
Shadow Puppet Guy
Brunette #2
Tina Handover
Betty Sue
Child
Child
Drake
Heckler
Eleanore Butterfield
Candy