Mask of Thorn (2019)

The writing might have been on the wall for poor old "Bethany" (Eve Kathryn Oliver) when her indifferent parents don't care a jot for her sixteenth birthday. Luckily for her, though, her pals do and so they concoct a plan to kidnap her and hold a surprise party in their locked-up school. That's maybe not the best idea when this "Skeletor" type of fella with glowing blue eyes shows up and starts a-slaughtering her drippy mates. Doors and walls, even service tunnels, prove no barrier to this lurching menace - but what could he possibly want with her? Well quite possibly he blamed her for the appalling script and decided that she had to pay on behalf of the viewing public? Indeed, maybe he quite kindly decided to eliminate the whole shower of them before they could make a third film in this woefully conceived, low-budget, example of just how amateur film-making can be. Using the darkened school could have helped with aspects of the menace, but it doesn't - it just ensures that we can't see a thing for most of the time, taking the pressure off the make-up artist, visual effects person and enabling the actors to remain largely anonymous for the sake of their own future careers (in anything but acting!). Clarke Tribe merits a special mention in the credits, perhaps he bought the moonshine for the wrap party? He certainly didn't do anything at all to make this look or sound better on the screen - but then nobody else did either. One to avoid I'm afraid, even for die-hard fans of the genre.