Alf Garnett
Else Garnett
Rita Rawlins (née Garnett)
Michael 'Mike' Rawlins
Ronald Frewin
Mrs. Frewin
Wally
Willis
Milkman
Gran
Arthur Askey
George Best
Max Bygraves
Julie Ege
Kenny Lynch
Bobby Moore
Eric Sykes
Jim
First Bird
Second Bird – Jim's Girlfriend
Rex
Clerk
Bus Conductress
Non-Smoker
Policeman
Child
Irishman in Pub
Man (uncredited)