Olivia St. Lapel / Maggie Zine
Big Russ
Mayor Coont
Hannah Contour
Self / Narrator
Bea Eeep
Kitty Myua
Hazel Delashes
Jane McBeige
Delia Von Whitewoman
Bertram
The Spirit of Christmas
Kreston Carsley
Matt Rothews
Mr. E
Self
Self
Lanette
Young 1997 Hannah
Young Olivia
Gorge Intern
Tristan
Shopping Lady
Father
Mother
Bus Driver
Barbara Walters (voice)
Self
Toymaker
Wistful Woman
Little Lenny
Cher
Dolly Parton
Annoying Smart Girl
Cranky Old Man
Grandma
Grandson
Romantic Guy
Dancing Husband #1
Dancing Husband #2
Dancing Husband #4
Dancing Husband #5
Dancing Husband #6
Townfolk #1
Townfolk #2
Townfolk #3
Townsfolk #4
Townsfolk #5
Tuck-A-Hoe Townsperson (uncredited)
Dancing Husband #3