'Weird Al' Yankovic
Madonna
Dr. Demento
Nick Yankovic
Jim
Steve
Bermuda
Pablo Escobar
Mary Yankovic
Grizzled Narrator (voice)
Doctor
Young Al
Salesman
Teenage Al
Kip
Robbie
Hipster Teen
Police Officer
Johnny Barf
Jonah Barf
Jeremy Barf
Captain Buffoon (voice)
Tony Scotti
Ben Scotti
Heckler
Sleazy MC
Mama Bear
Bartender
Pee-Wee Herman
Tiny Tim
Gallagher
Alice Cooper
Andy Warhol
Salvador Dali
Divine
Wolfman Jack
John Deacon
Security Guard
Oprah Winfrey
Connie Chung
Waiter
Radio DJ (voice)
Cone-Bra Dancer #1
Cone-Bra Dancer #2
Terrorist Diner Patron
Kidnapper
Guard #1
Guard #2
Mariachi Band Member #1
Mariachi Band Member #2
Mariachi Band Member #3
Floor Manager
Diana Ross
Hulk Hogan
Sicario
Elton John (uncredited)
David Bowie (uncredited)
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (uncredited)
Kate Pierson (uncredited)
Paparazzi (uncredited)