Welcome to Bikini Bottom Inquirer where investigative thrills are packed to the gills! I'm your host Perch Perkins with the latest local news! Here's today's rundown: Intro + Top Stories Community Poll: Most Handsome Man in Bikini Bottom NEWSFLASH: Beware of These Pranks Local Fry Cook and Unemployed Starfish's Bare Brawl Talking Squirrel Seen Flying a Rocket Ghosts in Bikini Bottom Perch Phone: Squilliam Fancyson, Bubble Bass, and DoodleBob The Lurch Report: Exclusive Interview with a Ghost BREAKING NEWS: The Krusty Krab is Haunted Community Poll Results + Outro

Welcome to Bikini Bottom Inquirer where investigative thrills are packed to the gills! I'm your host Perch Perkins with the latest local news! Here's today's rundown: Intro + Top Stories Prom Expert or Prom Failure? Meet DummyBob The Lurch Report: Indoor Flash Flood Warning! Now Available: Arm Shrinking Spray #TheSpongeChallenge Dance Trend Perch Phone: Community Responds to #TheSpongeChallenge Outro + Stinger

Did SpongeBob's careless treatment of his pet snail really cause an explosion? How did a ROCK win a race? I'm your host Perch Perkins with the latest local news! Here's today's rundown: Intro Top Stories + Traffic Report From...a Rock? Community Poll: Who's the Grumpiest in Bikini Bottom? Perch Phone: Squilliam Fancyson Calls In Who's Ready? The Answer May Surprise You Bikini Bottom's Best Looks Exercise Tips From SplashSplash Definitely-Not-Disgusting Smoothie Recipe Snail EXPLODES at Great Snail Race The Lurch Report ft. "Lightning" Larry Luciano Harold Reflects on Failed Torch Lighting Rock Wins Snail Race in Upset Victory Poll Results: Bikini Bottom's Grumpiest + Outro

A so-called "imaginary" disaster has hit Bikini Bottom, but should you actually be worried? What are the new Crazy Goggles doing to Patrick's eyes? I'm your host Perch Perkins with the latest local news! Here's today's rundown: Intro + Top Stories with Lurch Lerkins? Crazy Googles RECALLED Drawing Conclusions w/ Intern DoodleBob Trend Alert: Boxes! Just Boxes. Perch Phone: Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen "Imaginary" Disaster Strikes Bikini Bottom! Outro

Can a bubble person be dangerous? What's happening with the health inspector at the Krusty Krab? And can water exist underwater? I’m your host Perch Perkins with the latest local news! Here’s today’s rundown: Today's Top Stories The Potty Report: Goo Lagoon to Loo Lagoon Scooter (the Fish) Buried Alive Hibernation Season Comes to Bikini Bottom Krusty Krab Found With Health Code Violations Bubble Buddy: Friend or Foe?

Tonight we get an exclusive look at the worm-faced monster that's been terrorizing Bikini Bottom, an exposé on the Krusty Krabs new "secret" ingredient, and open up some fan mail! I’m your host Perch Perkins with the latest local news. Here’s today’s rundown: Today's Top Stories Sponsored by Stinky Pits SpongeBob Opens His Pores (to Condo Rentals) Party Worms Become Party Animals Krusty Krab Cooks with Garbage? Perch Phone: Bubble Bass Calls in SpongeBob WormFace: "Can I Get a Hug?" The Lurch Report: Live From 123 Conch St. Exclusive Interview with Face Worm Perch Reads "Fan" Letters Outro + Stinger

Message mystery in Jellyfish Fields appears overnight without warning! Should you be scared? I'm Perch Perkins and these are today's top stories: Meet Bikini Bottom Inquirer Intern DoodleBob Top Stories of the Night The Lurch Report: LIGHTNING STRIKES IN BIKINI BOTTOM! Honorary Rookie of the Day Announced Community Poll: Who Deserves to Be HRotD? Krusty Krab Locking Customers Inside Live Plankton Found in Bag of Jellybeans Jellybean Corp. Sponsorship Message Mystery in Jellyfish Fields Poll Results + Outro Stinger

Could it be true? Has Bikini Bottom's number one fry cook been fired from The Krusty Krab? Plus, food is fighting back in Bikini Bottom! I'm Perch Perkins and here's the latest news from The Bikini Bottom Inquirer.