John Major rises above his humble beginnings as a mediocre clown in a circus family when he sets out to pursue his dream of becoming a Tory bureaucrat and forges a career in the political circus. Torn between two worlds, his life becomes a balancing act.

All Roy Brush wants is to be the greatest footballer in the world. When he rises to national hero status after saving a young man from drowning and secures a European Cup Final trophy for England, it seems the sky's the limit to the fame he can achieve. But one painful secret-- and one astute newspaper reporter from The Scum-- stand between him and his goal.

A turkey that's about to become Christmas dinner takes hostages.