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Season 1 (2011)

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Pilot

1. Pilot

Tessa and her father experience culture shock when they move out of New York and into a house in the suburbs.
30min
September 28, 2011
The Barbecue

2. The Barbecue

Surprised Tessa realizes she is attracted to her jock suburban neighbor; George feels pressured to throw the perfect barbecue.
30min
October 5, 2011
The Chatterer

3. The Chatterer

When George joins the PTA, he becomes well-liked by all the moms, which has Shelia (Ana Gasteyer) feeling threatened. Meanwhile, Tessa joins the school newspaper and with some help, turns it into a tabloid-style paper.
30min
October 12, 2011
Don't Call Me Shirley

4. Don't Call Me Shirley

When Shelia's Shirley Temple doll collection is stolen, Tessa can't help but be amused, until she faces the consequences. Meanwhile, afraid of being burglarized, Dallas and Dalia stay at the Altman's house.
30min
October 19, 2011
Halloween

5. Halloween

Tessa channels her inner "suburban girl" for a Halloween costume, but it ends up spooking her friends and everyone at school since she reminds them of a recently "departed" resident of Chatswin. And George is determined to prove to Halloween-hater Dallas that being scared can be fun, but gets a scare of his own when Steven Royce (guest star Jay Mohr), Dallas' husband, finally comes home from one of his many business trips.
30min
October 26, 2011
Charity Case

6. Charity Case

Irritated by all the cafeteria waste at school, Tessa motivates the student body to get involved with giving back. Unfortunately their charity of choice involves helping residents of Florida improve their complexions. When Tessa introduces a homeless transsexual to the student body as part of a lesson, they decide that Tessa is really the person in need. Meanwhile George receives a large dental bill from Noah, which puts a strain on their relationship.
30min
November 2, 2011
Sweet Sixteen

7. Sweet Sixteen

When Tessa tells Dallas that she wants a simple get together for her sixteenth birthday, Dallas convinces her to let Dalia plan the ultimate birthday extravaganza at the country club, complete with a live performance by her favorite band, specialty drinks and go-go cages. Meanwhile George throws his back out and Sheila Shay takes it upon herself to care for him, even though George is terrified of her.
30min
November 16, 2011
Thanksgiving

8. Thanksgiving

Depressed that she has to spend Thanksgiving in the suburbs, Tessa convinces Dallas to take her to the city for a girls' day out. During their fun day, they run across George making out with a woman while he was supposed to be "working." Angry with George for lying to her, Tessa confronts him during the Royces' Thanksgiving dinner. Meanwhile Lisa refuses to wear a special dress Sheila picked out for her, so Sheila decides to literally turn up the heat.
30min
November 23, 2011
The Nutcracker

9. The Nutcracker

When Tessa overhears George break up with his girlfriend, Zoe, on Skype, she blames herself for his failed relationship and decides that she's going to get them back together. Unbeknownst to her, though, George is really enamored with Tessa's cute art teacher, Aimee. He admits to Mr. Wolfe that he's over dating crazy city women, and that he's looking for love in the burbs. George decides to embrace the holiday spirit with a tree trimming party complete with ex-girlfriend, potential new girlfriend and the Royces, and he soon finds himself under the mistletoe with a special someone.
30min
December 7, 2011
Driving Miss Dalia

10. Driving Miss Dalia

When Tessa gets her driver's license, Dalia hires her to drive her around to stalk her crush, Scott Strauss. As a result Tessa realizes that she and Scott might have feelings for each other. Meanwhile George and Noah's relationship is put to the test when George decides he wants to join the local country club.
30min
January 4, 2012
Out in the Burbs

11. Out in the Burbs

When Tessa is asked to show new guy Josh Sherman around school, she becomes convinced that he's gay, when in fact he's an undercover narcotics officer. Lisa becomes deeply infatuated with Josh, and Tessa inadvertly convinces Mr. Wolfe to make special announcement to the student body. Meanwhile George re-evaluates his relationship with Dallas.
30min
January 11, 2012
The Casino Trip

12. The Casino Trip

When George wins an all expenses paid trip to Atlantic City, he enlists Noah, Fred, Tom and Alex, and it turns into a getaway with the guys. During their trip they run into Steven Royce (who is supposed to be in Singapore), and they help Fred cope with his gambling problem. Meanwhile Tessa tries to get some alone time with Scott Strauss.
30min
January 18, 2012
Sex and the Suburbs

13. Sex and the Suburbs

Tessa enjoys rubbing it in Dalia's face that Scott Strause chose her over Dalia. However the closer Tessa gets to Scott, the more nervous George becomes. When George discovers a box of XXL condoms that Lisa has given Tessa, he becomes obsessed and starts planning game night with her friends in hopes of keeping her at home more. Meanwhile Tessa soon discovers that the more time she spends with Scott, the less attracted to him she is.
30min
February 8, 2012
The Body

14. The Body

When Tessa realizes that she's failing gym class, she decides to run for student body president in hopes of changing Chatswin High's obsession with sports. During the election, Lisa steps in as Tessa's campaign manager against Kenzie and Kaitlyn. Meanwhile, Ryan is injured during a wrestling match and finds himself mourned by his family, and George takes Ryan under his wing and introduces him to people who have moved forward from setbacks.
30min
February 15, 2012
Fire with Fire

15. Fire with Fire

When Jill turns to the newly single Dallas for inspiration and support, her marriage to Noah goes on the rocks. Meanwhile Dallas begins spending a lot of time with her hot younger boyfriend, Yoni, which causes tension with George, and Dalia befriends Lisa to get back at Tessa for dating Scott Strauss -- so Tessa decides to take action and recruits Kimantha to make Dalia jealous.
30min
February 22, 2012
Poetic Injustice

16. Poetic Injustice

When Fred and Sheila strike up a croquet match with Dallas and George, Fred misreads Sheila's interest in George. Fred tells George that Sheila is fantasizing about him and asks him to seduce her. Meanwhile Tessa desperately wants to impress the new poetry teacher, Ms. Evans, but she seems to prefer Dalia's prose.
30min
February 29, 2012
Independence Day

17. Independence Day

When George picks Tessa up late from school she decides to get a job working for Dallas in order to buy her own wheels. Meanwhile Dallas invites her sorority sisters to stay with her in order to celebrate the opening of her store, A Crystal Cup of Crystals; however her rival sorority sister, Tulsa, decides to crash the party.
30min
March 14, 2012
Down Time

18. Down Time

When Dallas's divorce is finalized, George becomes concerned and includes her in a shopping trip with Noah to buy a new mattress. Meanwhile Dalia makes a breakthrough in therapy with her psychiatrist, Dr. Richard Rohl (James Lipton), Lisa and Malik try to set up Tessa, and Ryan takes Tessa on a date.
30min
April 11, 2012
Entering Eden

19. Entering Eden

George begins dating Eden (Alicia Silverstone), a woman he met at the town's farmer's market. Tessa helps Dalia find her missing dog.
30min
April 18, 2012
Hear No Evil

20. Hear No Evil

As George and Eden's relationship gets serious, he decides to introduce her to Tessa, who is preoccupied with her job at Crystal Cup of Crystals. Meanwhile, George and Noah make a deal regarding George's relationship boundaries with Eden, and Eden is overwhelmed by Sheila's meddling and the Werners' overprotective behavior.
30min
May 2, 2012
The Great Compromise

21. The Great Compromise

While Tessa tries to adjust to living with Eden, George takes issue with Eden's parenting; Lisa and Malik consider which camp they should attend.
30min
May 9, 2012
The Motherload

22. The Motherload

Tessa feels a void as Chatswin celebrates mothers; Dalia goes to Israel without Dallas; Eden reacts to a baby shower's theme.
30min
May 16, 2012