Among other gems, a considerate Alan does some house sitting, Drive-by Abuser gives golfers some helpful advice, and the Flies discuss children parties and dinner with Michael Winner.

Drive-by Abuser takes to the road, and the humble roundabout falls under his critical gaze. Elsewhere, Alan prepares a caravan of hate for his long-suffering family.

Train commuters have a big reason for being late when a gigantic passenger disrupts service; planets in the solar system engage in gangster-style braggadocio.

The Drive-by Abuser disrupts a peaceful picnic; stalkers imbibe brain-boosting drinks and confront international scientists.

Alan makes last-minute alterations to a couple's wedding-day plans; the Drive-by Abuser heaps some on a pair of lovers.

The Flies discuss Jeremy Irons and Paula Radcliffe; the Drive-by Abuser hurls some vitriol across the channel.