George Bernard Shaw advertises Beauty Miss press-on fingernails, we learn about the animation process that brings Alexei to life, hear of the impact of the National Film Critics' strike, and witness Margaret Thatcher visiting 17th century bubonic plague victims in the TARDIS.

Lowestoft, with its Barbados-like climate, offers much to the adventurous traveller, including excursions to the Great Pyramids of Lowestoft and trips to the majestic Lowestoft Alps. Joan of Arc takes a chance to plug her new book and album, while we learn of the alarming growth in the number of statistics in the UK during the 20th century.

Discover the answers to last week's IQ test, experience Biblical confusion, witness brutally graphic scenes of teddy bear hunting, and learn that glasnost is a kind of runny cheese.

This week's show is interrupted by a newsflash that the government is about to introduce plans for something that'll make your flesh creep, and there's nothing you can do about it. Meanwhile, Alexei abuses Dire Straits and presents The Royal Pointless and Utterly Futile Military Things Tournament.

This week on Juliet Bravo, danger threatens for Inspector Kate Longton, as she has to explain to her Sergeant that she is a woman, rather than a wigwam, and enlists the aid of Chief Inspector Greaves and Superintendent Willis to teach him about the birds and the bees.

A real-life story of bravery as Michael, decapitated by a charging rhinoceros at age 24, undergoes cranial lignoplasty to replace his head, and has to endure the difficulties of life with a skull of polished walnut.