Bro…You want real love? commit to the right person. take the bay’ah.

Hey i’m starting to think those guys at Verizon had a point.

He told you about little Omar! stop acting like you didn’t know! now you gotta explain this dog to your parents?? it’s haraam. you’re just… haraam!

You dress like a skateboarder… but you don’t know how to skateboard?

the shower keeps getting clogged. my feet are just sitting in a puddle of my sweaty body water... You ever feel that? Like, you took a shower, but you feel like you still gotta wash your feet?

Pray two rakat for Ruther Bader Ginsburg.

do not go to a magic show. david blaine is straight up jinn.

masr um el dunya… and it always will be. but america is what I need right now. you’ll see, baba. inshallah.

Yes. Mexicans can go to heaven.

can we just pray together?