Gayle and Bonnie make a horrible discovery.

Gayle learns of the Ivy League "common app," which enables an applicant to submit to multiple Ivy schools all in one fell swoop. She becomes obsessed with the app, until she hears from Bonnie that Brendan (bleugh!) will be using the UNcommon app.

Gayle and Terry go undercover at the mall to recover the common app.

Bonnie does her best to sabotage Gayle's luncheon with a store-bought pie.

Gayle tries to impress young couples from the New Development.

Gayle forms a support group for survivors of interactions with invasively playful Trader Joe's cashiers.

Gayle fears she'll have to enter witness protection after she discovers that DAVE! and his friend Mark have been going behind her back scampering into the Hundred-Acre Wood to brush their teeth with Piglet.