To learn proper dog petting techniques, David sets out on a mission to find out everything he can about the genetic history, cognitive function, and incredibly keen senses of man's best friend. Before actually petting a dog, he'll have to get over his fear of them with the help of Amy Sedaris and astronaut Chris Hadfield.

After learning about the most effective inconspicuous listening techniques and getting some tricks of the trade from a former CIA operative, David attempts to eavesdrop on his friends and former bosses.

Setting out to improve the toast he grew up eating, David meets with scientists, renowned chefs, and the editor of the Toaster Collectors Association Newsletter and attempts to create the perfect slice of toast for friend and comedian Paul F. Tompkins.